I have begun this post five times at least. I write a sentence, erase it, write another, erase it, and the cycle continues. There are thoughts swarming in my head, and in my pride, I find myself wanting to communicate them in the most eloquent, compelling way possible. And my words fall short.
What I want to talk about is the radical nature of the Christian life. It’s a theme God has woven into the tapestry of my life this week -- into conversations I’ve had, books I’ve read, struggles we’ve encountered. I’m captured by the thought of it, convicted by the reality of it: God has not called us to a wimpy faith; he has called us to a radical one.
It’s radical to lie prostrate on the floor before God – but twice this week I’ve encountered passionate believers who challenged me to this practice. One was Beth Moore, via Shirley Wolfe’s Wednesday night Bible study; she challenged the viewers of her latest video series to begin each day in a humble, prostrate position before the Lord. The other was the late theologian A.W. Tozer, whose “regular habit was to sprawl on his study floor, facedown, and worship God.” (Tozer, I read, even read Shakespeare on his knees because he believed all efforts toward knowledge and understanding to be spiritual pursuits.)
It’s radical to fast – but this week I encountered passionate believers who celebrate the practice of fasting. Doctor William McKenzie, my believing doctor, challenged me months ago to fast over an issue in my life. I had no biblical understanding of the practice, so Steven photocopied a chapter of a book he’d been reading and brought it home to me. This week I found the chapter, was reminded of Dr. McKenzie’s exhortation (which was still valid, by the way), and so finally read “The Discipline of Fasting” (by Richard Foster). What I discovered was a moving biblical argument toward the practice of fasting, solid Biblical instruction on the purposes of fasting, and practical information on the physical aspects of fasting. It was startling, yes, but also compelling. “You will be engaging in spiritual warfare that will necessitate using all the weapons of Ephesians 6,” Foster writes. “… But I do not want to leave the impression that all fasting is a heavy spiritual struggle – I have not found it so. It is also ‘righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit’ (Rom. 14:17).”
Tozer, whom I've also been reading this week, fondly referred to radical believers – the ones whose souls follow hard after God -- as the “fellowship of the burning heart.” The analogy is vivid, brilliant, alive: the fellowship – believers – whose one commonality is a flaming passion for Jesus.
I have never lain prostrate before my Lord, and I don’t think I’ve ever fasted. The best I do is to occasionally lift my hands in worship. Sadly, my own life too often is characterized by a lack of radical living. Tozer speaks of this, too: “The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire.”
Oh, to have holy desire. The kind of desire that allows me to fall prostrate before my father, without feeling self-conscious. The kind of desire that compels me to fast, sacrificing the thing most necessary physically for the gain of a thing most necessary spiritually. The kind of desire (flaming!) that initiates me, even me, into the Fellowship of the Burning Heart. Now that would be RADICAL!
On my chairside table ...
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
One of these days, I really do intend to post my booklist. Can't do it, though, til I figure out how to deal with such a sizable amount of text -- post all at once, divide into categories, post as a sidebar list, post a book a week, etc. And I'm a slow thinker, remember, so I'm pondering the possibilities.
In honor of those of you who've asked, however, and because I do have a reputation as the book diva, thought I'd let you know what's currently gracing the table beside my favorite chair.
In no certain order:
Lonely Planet Guide to Ireland; Walking Dublin; Eyewitness Dublin; Ireland from $80 a Day -- I'm soaking in these as we prepare for our trip, just over a month away; wanting to be familiar enough with the culture and geography that I won't be such a bumbling foreigner (I know, wishful thinking). We've been encouraged to spend some time walking around Dublin, getting to know the place a bit, so I'm trying to familiarize myself a tad with the layout of the city. The country is rich with history, so of course there are a few sights I'd like to see (St. Patrick's Cathedral, Ha'Penny Bridge, Temple Bar district, and, need I mention, at least a couple o' castles). And the books are chock-ful of useful information (like the fact that all purchases include a 21-PERCENT sales tax -- can you say "ouch"! -- which foreigners can re-coup in the airport as they leave the country). Our trip is not a "sight-seeing vacation," and really I have no desire for it to be (it's an act of grace, surely, that I'm truly most excited about getting to know the teams and the work they do), but I want to know this place to which we're considering moving, and a little study may come in handy for the trip.
Invitation to the Classics: A Guide to the Books You've Always Wanted to Read -- Historical background and commentary on great classic literature (The Iliad, Great Expectations, Utopia, Pride and Prejudice, Heart of Darkness, etc.) as well as selected quotes and passages. Written from a distinctly Christian worldview, this book also includes sections on works by Augustine, John Calvin, Martin Luther, etc.
February issue, Southern Living magazine -- I love magazines, but rarely splurge on them. The exception is my subscription to Southern Living magazine, and after a day of schooling and purging closets/bookshelves (still on my quest to streamline school and life in general), I actually sat down in my comfy green chair with matching ottoman (thanks Boo and Evan) and perused this latest issue. Looking forward to testing recipes for Creole Fried Rice (for my G-love), Pan-Fried Chicken and Spinach Salad (yum, for me) and King Ranch Chicken Casserole (for the fam, and maybe guests).
My bible, and the World Harvest Sonship bible study
DK Great Artists Explained -- an annotated guide to the works of about 100 "great artists". Gives background on the artists, then an image and interesting analysis of one work each.
The Intrepid Art Collector: The Beginner's Guide to Finding, Buying and Appreciating Art on a Budget -- A Christmas gift from my hubby, who knows I long to fill the walls of our home not with "canned" art, but with one-of-a-kind originals. (My children's painted canvasses, the seventies-ish needlepoint purchased at a church rummage sale, and my collection of bird nests and other natural objects all have more appeal to me now than most any framed print I find.) The book provides practical information on buying art (even from little local galleries) and a fascinating look at the competitive world of art collecting.
Prayers from the Heart (by Richard Foster) and The Valley of Vision -- So I don't like canned art, but I do love "canned" prayers. They broaden the way I pray, and help me to express myself when I'm struggling to do so.
A Sense of Wonder: On Reading and Writing Books for Children -- Kept this book out of the library so long, it now belongs to me; they billed me for it. It's a book of essays by Katherine Paterson, two-time winner of the National Book Award and Newberry Medal (Bridge to Terabithia, Jacob Have I Loved, The Great Gilly Hopkins). The first essay is all about words (which, ironically, I've been planning to use as the subject of a mini-scrapbook -- my love of words, that is.) Anyway, Paterson writes, "I know as you do, that words can be used for evil as well as good. But we must take that risk. We must try as best we are able to give our children words that will shape their minds so they can make those miraculous leaps of imagination that no sinless computer will ever be able to rival -- those connections in science, in art, in the living of this life, that will reveal the little truths. For it is these little truths that point to the awesome, unknowable unity, the Truth, which holds us together and makes us members one of another." Now I don't agree with everything Paterson says -- even parts of that last statement are problematic -- but her storytelling is captivating, and she causes me to think, to ponder words and their power, to draw connections between "words" and the "Word." And I'm only one essay into the book.
Religious Education Through Story-telling; Education Through Story-telling -- two ancient volumes (actually, only about 80 years old) on the know-how and advantages of clothing educational instruction in literary language. Complete with suggested fables, myths and various other stories for the beginning story-teller. Great for anyone who speaks/teaches -- parents, teachers, Sunday School teachers, homeschoolers, public speakers, etc.
Mad Math -- a book my kids discarded, which I'm using to sharpen my mathematical and cricical thinking skills.
A Book Lover's Diary -- provides space for recording books I want to read, books I want to own, books I share, and books I borrow. Also sections for remembering my favorite books and writing down my favorite passages.
Altered Board Book (Basics and Beyond); Faith Books and Spiritual Journaling (Expressions of Faith through Art) -- two books about scrapbooking ... books. One focuses on altering little kids' board books into new books, the other focuses on making books and journals about scripture, prayer, faith.
The Child from the Sea, and The Poet and the Pauper -- novels by one of my all-time favorite authors (Elizabeth Goudge, Scent of Water and Pilgrim's Inn), and a newly-discovered favorite (George MacDonald).
Don't Make Me Count to Three! A Mom's Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline -- probably the one I most need to read, but haven't even started yet.
Understanding Your Man in the Mirror -- not because he's tough to understand, but because I I need and want to give him more of myself.
copybook -- Black leather journal embossed with a flower design, where I record scripture, book passages, poetry, song lyrics, quotes -- any words which resonate with me.
The Art of Life (Edith Schaeffer), Ruthless Trust (Brennan Manning) and a host of others (the table's overflowing).
They say you can learn a lot about a person by looking at their bookshelves. I can definitely see the themes of my life running through the pages on my chairside table.
In honor of those of you who've asked, however, and because I do have a reputation as the book diva, thought I'd let you know what's currently gracing the table beside my favorite chair.
In no certain order:
Lonely Planet Guide to Ireland; Walking Dublin; Eyewitness Dublin; Ireland from $80 a Day -- I'm soaking in these as we prepare for our trip, just over a month away; wanting to be familiar enough with the culture and geography that I won't be such a bumbling foreigner (I know, wishful thinking). We've been encouraged to spend some time walking around Dublin, getting to know the place a bit, so I'm trying to familiarize myself a tad with the layout of the city. The country is rich with history, so of course there are a few sights I'd like to see (St. Patrick's Cathedral, Ha'Penny Bridge, Temple Bar district, and, need I mention, at least a couple o' castles). And the books are chock-ful of useful information (like the fact that all purchases include a 21-PERCENT sales tax -- can you say "ouch"! -- which foreigners can re-coup in the airport as they leave the country). Our trip is not a "sight-seeing vacation," and really I have no desire for it to be (it's an act of grace, surely, that I'm truly most excited about getting to know the teams and the work they do), but I want to know this place to which we're considering moving, and a little study may come in handy for the trip.
Invitation to the Classics: A Guide to the Books You've Always Wanted to Read -- Historical background and commentary on great classic literature (The Iliad, Great Expectations, Utopia, Pride and Prejudice, Heart of Darkness, etc.) as well as selected quotes and passages. Written from a distinctly Christian worldview, this book also includes sections on works by Augustine, John Calvin, Martin Luther, etc.
February issue, Southern Living magazine -- I love magazines, but rarely splurge on them. The exception is my subscription to Southern Living magazine, and after a day of schooling and purging closets/bookshelves (still on my quest to streamline school and life in general), I actually sat down in my comfy green chair with matching ottoman (thanks Boo and Evan) and perused this latest issue. Looking forward to testing recipes for Creole Fried Rice (for my G-love), Pan-Fried Chicken and Spinach Salad (yum, for me) and King Ranch Chicken Casserole (for the fam, and maybe guests).
My bible, and the World Harvest Sonship bible study
DK Great Artists Explained -- an annotated guide to the works of about 100 "great artists". Gives background on the artists, then an image and interesting analysis of one work each.
The Intrepid Art Collector: The Beginner's Guide to Finding, Buying and Appreciating Art on a Budget -- A Christmas gift from my hubby, who knows I long to fill the walls of our home not with "canned" art, but with one-of-a-kind originals. (My children's painted canvasses, the seventies-ish needlepoint purchased at a church rummage sale, and my collection of bird nests and other natural objects all have more appeal to me now than most any framed print I find.) The book provides practical information on buying art (even from little local galleries) and a fascinating look at the competitive world of art collecting.
Prayers from the Heart (by Richard Foster) and The Valley of Vision -- So I don't like canned art, but I do love "canned" prayers. They broaden the way I pray, and help me to express myself when I'm struggling to do so.
A Sense of Wonder: On Reading and Writing Books for Children -- Kept this book out of the library so long, it now belongs to me; they billed me for it. It's a book of essays by Katherine Paterson, two-time winner of the National Book Award and Newberry Medal (Bridge to Terabithia, Jacob Have I Loved, The Great Gilly Hopkins). The first essay is all about words (which, ironically, I've been planning to use as the subject of a mini-scrapbook -- my love of words, that is.) Anyway, Paterson writes, "I know as you do, that words can be used for evil as well as good. But we must take that risk. We must try as best we are able to give our children words that will shape their minds so they can make those miraculous leaps of imagination that no sinless computer will ever be able to rival -- those connections in science, in art, in the living of this life, that will reveal the little truths. For it is these little truths that point to the awesome, unknowable unity, the Truth, which holds us together and makes us members one of another." Now I don't agree with everything Paterson says -- even parts of that last statement are problematic -- but her storytelling is captivating, and she causes me to think, to ponder words and their power, to draw connections between "words" and the "Word." And I'm only one essay into the book.
Religious Education Through Story-telling; Education Through Story-telling -- two ancient volumes (actually, only about 80 years old) on the know-how and advantages of clothing educational instruction in literary language. Complete with suggested fables, myths and various other stories for the beginning story-teller. Great for anyone who speaks/teaches -- parents, teachers, Sunday School teachers, homeschoolers, public speakers, etc.
Mad Math -- a book my kids discarded, which I'm using to sharpen my mathematical and cricical thinking skills.
A Book Lover's Diary -- provides space for recording books I want to read, books I want to own, books I share, and books I borrow. Also sections for remembering my favorite books and writing down my favorite passages.
Altered Board Book (Basics and Beyond); Faith Books and Spiritual Journaling (Expressions of Faith through Art) -- two books about scrapbooking ... books. One focuses on altering little kids' board books into new books, the other focuses on making books and journals about scripture, prayer, faith.
The Child from the Sea, and The Poet and the Pauper -- novels by one of my all-time favorite authors (Elizabeth Goudge, Scent of Water and Pilgrim's Inn), and a newly-discovered favorite (George MacDonald).
Don't Make Me Count to Three! A Mom's Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline -- probably the one I most need to read, but haven't even started yet.
Understanding Your Man in the Mirror -- not because he's tough to understand, but because I I need and want to give him more of myself.
copybook -- Black leather journal embossed with a flower design, where I record scripture, book passages, poetry, song lyrics, quotes -- any words which resonate with me.
The Art of Life (Edith Schaeffer), Ruthless Trust (Brennan Manning) and a host of others (the table's overflowing).
They say you can learn a lot about a person by looking at their bookshelves. I can definitely see the themes of my life running through the pages on my chairside table.
Random thoughts
Friday, January 11, 2008
Random thought number 1
I love my church. Sunday was beautiful. The Spirit's presence was almost palpable. Meryl said the entire service was anointed, and I think she's so right. In everything -- Steven's prayers, Jeff's articulation, Hope's tears, Adria's presence, Jesse's words, Quinn's challenge, Stoke's and Connie's song, Burt's sermon, the communion and weeping and community -- the Gospel reigned. The things of the world -- pride, defensiveness, bitterness, self-righteousness, anger -- were replaced by things of the Spirit -- humility, weakness, forgiveness, grace, restoration, love. Someone asked how we thought visitors responded; personally, I can't imagine how they could have left that service without being more drawn to Christ, because there's nothing more seductive than to see the gospel lived out.
Random thought number 2 (related to random thought number 1)
I love our elders. One of the most powerful things to me about Sunday morning was the gathering of men who left their respective places in the congregation, joined one another on the stage, and stood as a humble, Godly leadership. I'm thankful for these men, so committed to the Gospel and the Church, who ushered in such a poignant time of healing and restoration. I'm thankful to our God who called them and made them his own, and whose work in their lives has been so evident.
Random thought number 3 (related to random thoughts number 1 and 2)
My last thought as I walked out of the sanctuary on Sunday morning:
"I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God." Is. 61:10
Random thought number 4 (unrelated to random thoughts 1-3)
I'm attempting to simplify my life right now. Especially homeschooling. Having difficulty managing four grade-levels -- planning and grading for every subject (almost) for every child at four different grade levels. Crazy. And chaos. Pray for me.
Random thought number 5
Played the game Imaginiff with the Claytons on New Year's Eve. Great fun. You must try it.
Random thought number 6 (may have blogged about this before, but too lazy to read through my posts to find out)
I'm a slow thinker. I've always known this. Friends have ragged me for being slow at things, but truly, I'm slow at DOING because I'm slow at THINKING. This extends into all areas of my life. Need to discipline my child -- "go sit on the sofa until I figure out what to say to you." Need to re-vamp homeschool history strategy -- punt history for two weeks while I think through the possibilities and figure out a new strategy. Want to scrapbook a prayer journal, a birthday mini-album, an altered board book -- creativity comes, but ever so slowly. I can't engage in a debate (that's a nice word for argument), study scripture, read a book, post to my blog, or watch a movie without confronting the fact that my brain processes information far more slowly than I'd prefer. There are advantages, of course: I'm less likely to say something I regret, and there's less opportunity for pride (I'd be even more prideful than I am, if that's possible, if I were as efficient in all these things as I'd like to be). Frankly, though, I really struggle not to compare myself with others in this regard. Like, I think Kim Hill probably has more original thoughts go through her head in a single morning than I do in a month of Sundays. If it matters to me when I get to heaven (which it probably won't, but if it did), I think I'll ask God why he saw fit to give me a brain which operates at dial-up speed. Meanwhile, need to repent.
Random thought number 7
Getting very excited about the site visit to Ireland. When I think about the trip, the only thing that's really making me panic is the airplane ride -- oh, and the fear that we'll leave there with no clue what God wants us to do. Pray for clarity of vision -- and a safe plane trip -- and that I'll trust Him even in the event of an unsafe plane trip.
It's taken me a very slow hour-and-a-half to write this post. I probably should have been thinking about revamping the history curriculum.
Tootles, then, til next time.
I love my church. Sunday was beautiful. The Spirit's presence was almost palpable. Meryl said the entire service was anointed, and I think she's so right. In everything -- Steven's prayers, Jeff's articulation, Hope's tears, Adria's presence, Jesse's words, Quinn's challenge, Stoke's and Connie's song, Burt's sermon, the communion and weeping and community -- the Gospel reigned. The things of the world -- pride, defensiveness, bitterness, self-righteousness, anger -- were replaced by things of the Spirit -- humility, weakness, forgiveness, grace, restoration, love. Someone asked how we thought visitors responded; personally, I can't imagine how they could have left that service without being more drawn to Christ, because there's nothing more seductive than to see the gospel lived out.
Random thought number 2 (related to random thought number 1)
I love our elders. One of the most powerful things to me about Sunday morning was the gathering of men who left their respective places in the congregation, joined one another on the stage, and stood as a humble, Godly leadership. I'm thankful for these men, so committed to the Gospel and the Church, who ushered in such a poignant time of healing and restoration. I'm thankful to our God who called them and made them his own, and whose work in their lives has been so evident.
Random thought number 3 (related to random thoughts number 1 and 2)
My last thought as I walked out of the sanctuary on Sunday morning:
"I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God." Is. 61:10
Random thought number 4 (unrelated to random thoughts 1-3)
I'm attempting to simplify my life right now. Especially homeschooling. Having difficulty managing four grade-levels -- planning and grading for every subject (almost) for every child at four different grade levels. Crazy. And chaos. Pray for me.
Random thought number 5
Played the game Imaginiff with the Claytons on New Year's Eve. Great fun. You must try it.
Random thought number 6 (may have blogged about this before, but too lazy to read through my posts to find out)
I'm a slow thinker. I've always known this. Friends have ragged me for being slow at things, but truly, I'm slow at DOING because I'm slow at THINKING. This extends into all areas of my life. Need to discipline my child -- "go sit on the sofa until I figure out what to say to you." Need to re-vamp homeschool history strategy -- punt history for two weeks while I think through the possibilities and figure out a new strategy. Want to scrapbook a prayer journal, a birthday mini-album, an altered board book -- creativity comes, but ever so slowly. I can't engage in a debate (that's a nice word for argument), study scripture, read a book, post to my blog, or watch a movie without confronting the fact that my brain processes information far more slowly than I'd prefer. There are advantages, of course: I'm less likely to say something I regret, and there's less opportunity for pride (I'd be even more prideful than I am, if that's possible, if I were as efficient in all these things as I'd like to be). Frankly, though, I really struggle not to compare myself with others in this regard. Like, I think Kim Hill probably has more original thoughts go through her head in a single morning than I do in a month of Sundays. If it matters to me when I get to heaven (which it probably won't, but if it did), I think I'll ask God why he saw fit to give me a brain which operates at dial-up speed. Meanwhile, need to repent.
Random thought number 7
Getting very excited about the site visit to Ireland. When I think about the trip, the only thing that's really making me panic is the airplane ride -- oh, and the fear that we'll leave there with no clue what God wants us to do. Pray for clarity of vision -- and a safe plane trip -- and that I'll trust Him even in the event of an unsafe plane trip.
It's taken me a very slow hour-and-a-half to write this post. I probably should have been thinking about revamping the history curriculum.
Tootles, then, til next time.
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