Unexpected encounter, and a little about the Christmas Bazaar

Today was my day off. Steven took vacation last week, and at the end of it, I asked him if he would mind giving me a day off. A day with no responsibilities at home. There were two issues at the basis of my request:

• I needed a break (between homeschooling, home management, general parenting, my part-time job as newsletter editor of Crossroads, and support-raising, I'm very busy with responsibilities -- all things I LOVE, but everyone needs a little time off sometimes, right); and
• the need for uninterrupted creative time to work on my artsy little books and jewelry for next week's Christmas Bazaar (more on that later) .
  
  

So I left the house, light-hearted and carefree as I headed to Scrap Etc. in Pelham to use the fabulosa, best-thing-since-homemade-bread AccuCut machine. I was driving along in my van, basking in the music and lyrics of my favorite tunes from Over the Rhine, Derek Webb, Loreena McKennit and the Spares.

As I merged onto the interstate, I saw the ambulance behind me. Lights flashing, siren screeching. Within minutes, my happy little excursion turned into a life-alterring (NOT exaggerating) encounter with my own heart.

The wreck had only just happened, that much was obvious. Traffic hadn't even slowed in the eastbound lanes where the crash occurred, but in the westbound lanes traffic had virtually stopped. The roadside was overflowing with emergency vehicles, stationary now but still frantic with their collection of flashing lights.

That's when I saw it. The car was thrown face-down at about a 45-degree angle -- hood pressed voilently against the pavement, backside jutting high into the air. And just behind the vehicle, ten or more medical personnel, crouched beside what I'm supposing was the wrecked car's driver.

It was a BAD scene. Bad. And before I knew it, I had a knot in my stomach so severe it hurt and a flood of emotions I totally didn't expect. I began to pray -- earnestly, intensely -- for this injured person I didn't know, for the individual's family, for the medical personnel. What to pray, I wondered? Do you pray for healing when you see a scene like this? You do, but healing isn't always God's plan. (He uses struggling for good purpose, His ways are higher than our ways, I know all the seemingly trite responses). But then what to pray? I asked him, and He gave me words. Mercy, God; Be merciful. Grace, God; Be gracious. Mercy, and Grace, whatever they look like in this situation.

And then I repented. From the depths of that painful knot in my stomach, I repented. Of grumbling over, complaining about, taking for granted, and generally de-valuing this life -- this glorious, painful, blessed life -- He's given me.

Repentance was needed. Deep, sure repentance.

I've seen bad wrecks before. I'm not sure why this one affected me like it did (that knot stayed in my stomach for hours), except that I do believe the Holy Spirit grants us fresh encounters with Himself when we least expect to meet Him*, and, in so doing, grants us newness of life** -- glorious, painful, blessed life.

*(though, as He's always with us, shouldn't we live expecting to meet Him)
** (a play on the scripture, dear Bible-studying friends, not a misuse of it)

Now, on a lighter note ...
I promised a little something about our church Christmas Bazaar set for next Saturday. So here, for your viewing pleasure, are photos of the mess my patient hubby has endured over the last several weeks. Watch tomorrow or Tuesday for details about the Bazaar, and sneak peeks at the wares I'll be selling.